July 26, 2006

I have come to this page several times to write but have just logged out. Its hard to write your feelings or even to acknowledge them. Some moments are harder than others as are just some days. I never thought that we would come home without Corbin. Its really hard being in this house and not having him here with us.

Lately I have just been feeling numb and empty. Like I have nothing left to feel or even give. Sometimes, the boys even make me upset or sad because I would still be in the hospital not watching them play and laugh. Everything is a constant reminder that Corbin is gone. I anxiously await to see him again. I was told that this life is just a breath in comparison to eternity. It sure seems that someone is holding their breath on me.

That being said we are returning to Michigan exactly one month from the day Corbin died. We are renting a cabin for two weeks with my sister and then returning to Ann Arbor for the last week. During that last week my sister Sherri will be seeing a doctor and we will be delivering Corbin's 2nd birthday gifts to the hospital. We may stay and be with the Vercammen and Husted family as they have their Fontan surgery on July 16th. I am not real sure if I can go back yet but am considering it for them.

Please think of Travis as we are going to be in Michigan and him home here. He has not a single day of vacation and realizes that I need to get away.

Love,
The Grabbs