The Drive Back

Yesterday we drove back and it was an emotional drive for me. Remembering and bitter sweet to return without our son in the car that we truly believed would be a survivor of HLHS and not a statistic. Yet, onward we drove. The boys did great. Aiden was not to sure about getting back into the car for another 6 hour drive today to get to the campsite. Gunnar and Brodie are very excited and ready to go. So onward we go to the great beyond. Blessings to all.

Terri

Yesterday

Was probably one of my harder days yet. I received Corbin's medical records from his last two days. Yes, I did read them even though I probably should not have. It did not say anything I did not already know just that It crushed me to read such medical facts about my son who was dying at the time. It brought a lot of doubts that I had to the surface. Thankfully God sent a friend to call at just the right time.

Today I am better. I have a terrible migraine from crying so much yesterday. But realize that the truth is the truth. Nothing will change Corbin's death and nothing was done wrong. Just one of those things that you pray will never happen during surgery.

Tomorrow we have to pack! I need to pack for all four of us and the car so we can leave bright and early to go camping!! I love camping. When I say that I mean camping with electricity and running water! I am not a survivalist camper, nope I am a wimpy need the comforts of home camper. Some may say that is not true camping but I say it is. Any time you don't get to sleep in your own bed and have to use a shower house to bath it is camping!

Missing Corbin ever so much but knowing I will see him again.
Later,
Terri

July 26, 2006

I have come to this page several times to write but have just logged out. Its hard to write your feelings or even to acknowledge them. Some moments are harder than others as are just some days. I never thought that we would come home without Corbin. Its really hard being in this house and not having him here with us.

Lately I have just been feeling numb and empty. Like I have nothing left to feel or even give. Sometimes, the boys even make me upset or sad because I would still be in the hospital not watching them play and laugh. Everything is a constant reminder that Corbin is gone. I anxiously await to see him again. I was told that this life is just a breath in comparison to eternity. It sure seems that someone is holding their breath on me.

That being said we are returning to Michigan exactly one month from the day Corbin died. We are renting a cabin for two weeks with my sister and then returning to Ann Arbor for the last week. During that last week my sister Sherri will be seeing a doctor and we will be delivering Corbin's 2nd birthday gifts to the hospital. We may stay and be with the Vercammen and Husted family as they have their Fontan surgery on July 16th. I am not real sure if I can go back yet but am considering it for them.

Please think of Travis as we are going to be in Michigan and him home here. He has not a single day of vacation and realizes that I need to get away.

Love,
The Grabbs

In Memory of our son Corbin Marc Grabb

This video is in memory of our son for his 2nd birthday.
July 20, 2004 - June 29, 2006

Tomorrow

As I was doing my devotional time this morning this is what I read by Spurgeon.

Tomorrow

A Christian can look forward to tomorrow with joy. Tomorrow is a happy thing. It is one stage nearer glory, one step nearer heaven, one more mile sailed across life's dangerous sea, one mile closer to home.

Tomorrow is a fresh lamp of the fulfilled promise that God has placed in His firmament. Use it as a guiding star or as a light to cheer your path. Tomorrow the Christian may rejoice. You may say that today is black, but I say that tomorrow is coming. You will mount on its wings and flee. You will leave sorrow behind.

Tomorrow, or perhaps before then, this head will wear the crown (James 1:12). This arm will wave the palm (Rev. 7:9). This lip will sing the song (Rev. 5:13). Tomorrow, this heart will be full of immortal, everlasting, eternal bliss (Rev. 21:4). Be of good cheer, fellow Christian, tomorrow can have nothing negative for you.

Surgeon pg 120 Beside Still Waters

This really spoke to me. Yes, today I am sad. I miss Corbin's very much. But what a beautiful thing God gives us Tomorrow!

Terri

How are we doing?

We miss Corbin very much. Yet we are also aware that we will see Corbin and his two sisters again. That is God's promise and gift to us through his Son's death and resurection.

That doesn't mean we aren't sad. Yet we grieve with hope. My arms ache to hold him one more time. My heart breaks at the silence that comes from his room. The tears flow as I look around at all the medical equipment that Corbin is now free from. Yes, we are sad but we also rejoice. Our son is healed. This is not how I wanted my prayers answered but I know that God knows best for us all. He uses ALL things for good!

We would like to ask for your help. We are going to be celebrating Corbin's 2nd birthday on July 20th. We are getting a large world map and would like to ask all to let us know where you live so we can mark how large of an area Corbin has touched. We thought this would be a great visual to our other son's of God's love for our family.

So please--Post a message with your state,city, or country

Thank you again for always loving our family, for always reaching out to us and your many prayers.

Please join me in praying for Jacob. His mom and I are very close and he faces the Fontan this July 13th. Care page is "jacobsheart"

Terri

Corbin Marc Grabb

On June 29th at 12:30am we said Goodbye for now to our sweet loving little boy. He was taken to heaven this morning after not recovering from his two open heart surgeries Monday and Tuesday. He suffered a massive stroke. He passed away in my arms with Dad by his side as we told him how much we loved him.

The memorial service was Monday July 3, 2006

Our church has made it available online for all that would wish to listen.

(cut and paste the following link into your browser)

http://www.sovgracefairfax.org/home/audio/2006/07/03/corbingrabb

The pastor mentions an article about infants going to heaven. You can read that article at:
http://www.sbts.edu/mohler/FidelitasRead.php?article=fidel036



Thank you for your prayers and support.

Surgical updates

Corbin made it out to Moderate care for a half hour where he aspirated and then coded. He was rushed into Pod A. They were able to get his heart beating again but were having a lot of difficulty in ventilating him. Then his heart stopped again. He was quickly placed on ECMO on April 21st. For four days Corbin bleed loosing over 400 units of blood in those four days. They were able to stop the bleeding. He had to go onto dialysis and remove a lot of access fluid. They worked hard and he was able to get off ECMO on April 30th. He was still very sick and was placed on Nitric oxyide and a lot of other blood pressure support to keep him alive. We then worked our way at getting better. On May 19th Corbin was taken off the vent. He then had surgery on May 25th to have a G/J tube placed. He ended up needing four tubes due to problems with them.

Then on June 22nd Corbin went into heart failure. He was having a lot of trouble loosing his fluid. They found that his right lung was not getting any blood flow to it and the pulminary artery needed opening again. So on Monday June 26th Corbin had a heart catherization to place a stent. Unfortunately the stent placement went wrong and he had to have open heart surgery to remove two stents lost and fix the PA.

This is the abbreviated version and more can be read on www.carepages.com under his carepage name corbingrabb.

Terri